From Camera-Shy to Podcast Host at 19: How Momentum turned Fear into Confidence

The small steps and big push that put me behind the microphone

Introduction

Create like you’re late, wait like you’re early.

The journey starts with a gimbal and podcast microphone that I bought in the summer of 2024.

The podcast mic is pristinely packaged in its box after a couple of voiceover attempts.

On the other hand, I have used the gimbal many times… surprisingly.

Both were purchases out of curiosity for testing out a new medium in sharing my journey.

Irrespective of their usage, they both planted a seed waiting to germinate, grow, and blossom.

It’s almost like those stories of your favourite YouTuber getting a camera for their 10th birthday; except I was 19.

Exhibit A of gimbal usage: The lovely spring sunshine in Nottingham 👍🏾

Why are people camera-shy?

When we were younger, playing with toys and talking gibberish to ourselves, we were more self-focused and in our own world.

We called that imagination.

As we get older, we move like we’ve never done it before and experience a paralysing self-consciousness from the fear of being watched.

In part, it may come from the motive of wanting to belong, but let’s get into it.

Firstly, to be confident and shy sounds like an oxymoron, but you can be both.

Although I wouldn’t describe myself as a shy person nowadays, I still prefer to be out of the spotlight.

Years of networking has built up confidence in my ability to engage in conversations off-the-cuff without perfectionism getting in the way of true connection.

Yet to get in front of camera was always a tall ask.

It’s funny because I’ve done public speaking on many occasions; an exercise you can’t rewind, retake, and edit.

So what’s with the camera?

My sneaking suspicion is the lack of feedback from looking into what seems like an abyss that is dead set on you getting every word correct.

In a broader sense, we’re used to processing the emotions of those we speak to; their body language, facial expressions, tone, which provides feedback on what we do.

Without that non-verbal communication, things become uncomfortable and uncanny in some sense.

Above the discomfort of being watched, there is this primal side to fearing cameras.

When applying for degree apprenticeships and taking those Hirevue video interviews, I remember preparing by speaking into the unassuming eye of my laptop.

Extremely uncomfortable at first, and I quickly realised that I preferred having someone to speak to.

The lack of feedback would be something that sets a precedent for the rejections that followed, to which I had to adapt and provide myself feedback.

It forced me to analyse myself - something I hadn’t done previously.

That was an experience that shaped me; it showed that practice makes perfect even when it comes to something as unsettling as looking at a reversed, distorted, mirror image of yourself.

Anyways, the non-verbal element certainly has a part to play.

Research shows that our anticipatory responses to the unknown can amplify anxiety, to which it is our natural tendency to fill the gap with signals of danger.

The uncertainty of how one is perceived on camera, can lead to hypervigilance of our tone, gestures, and expressions.

The general consensus is that to get better at handling uncertainty, we must have repeated exposure to such circumstances to become more confident in those situations.

However, it isn’t as simple as substituting fear for assurance.

Rather, I deduced that the fear of judgement is a mental barrier that must be overcome to some degree, and preceding this is becoming accustomed to performing for what seems like a void.

This highlights the subjectivity of what it means to confident.

With clarity on the outcome, you trust your prediction of the future, enabling you to be confident.

To be shy refers to being awkward, nervous, and uncomfortable, so it makes sense for us to be more reserved in facing something unfamiliar, unnatural, and in some cases, invasive.

So to assume that being confident in one aspect would mean you’re not shy in another would be a mistake.

A person that is ‘confident’ is not a blanket statement.

What many perceive confidence to be is someone taking the vulnerable stance of embracing that uncertainty, although that person would’ve had practiced or had prior exposure.

The question now is:

• How accustomed are you to functioning in the unknown?

Naturally, the oversimplification of confidence can make it seem silly to work your way up in something that many assume to be innate.

In order to feel comfort, some abide by their fixed mindset that tells them confidence is a by-product of a person’s personality.

But confidence is not a personality trait - it is a skill.

Overcoming that mental barrier of getting in front of camera is not a one-and-done exercise, and as you will see, it is a process that takes time.

What helped me start?

Preparation and trusting the edit? 😅

I knew that you’ll experience fear until you take the action on the thing you’re fearing.

It was the overarching message in my first post of 2025.

In order to overcome ‘What if?’ and the physical symptoms that come with being out of your comfort zone, you just have to take action.

Even if your voice is shaking, cracking, disappearing, you have to realise that a lot of this comes from the way you frame the situation.

These are physical reactions to prepare you for what your brain thinks is a bear chasing you.

Acknowledge it, talk about how silly you feel (to yourself), and get back to it.

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That was my mindset when I got my gimbal and podcast mic.

I slowly chipped at the mental barrier of anxiety and fear by making a mockery of it.

Like literally, not even joking.

Let’s start with the podcast mic that’s hibernating in my cupboard.

Initially, I repurposed my first Substack post into a script that could be read out like a podcast.

This came with learning how to use the mic, related software, and a teeny tiny bit about editing.

Altogether I didn’t produce anything to put out there - not because it was bad or outrageously good (it was a masterpiece), but because I had the sole intention of practicing with no pressure.

I mirrored this approach with my gimbal, to which I got a complementary lavalier mic for.

I recorded a couple of random and cringey videos I might show my future wife, but that was part of making a mockery of my own fear and anxiety.

All part of the plan.

However, I didn’t want to suffer further, and so I started using the gimbal to piece together some B-roll.

B-roll is simply video material that is used on the top of voiceovers, for example if I’m talking about a hot summer’s day, I might show a video of sweat rolling down a forehead to accentuate the message.

Exhibit B of gimbal usage: Screenshot of B-roll from my preferred writing location👍🏾

Once again, this B-roll was practice and ultimately me getting familiar with the equipment.

I’ve said all of this to show that making a podcast wasn’t a 3am thought, as to not mis-inspire someone into thinking it is easy.

Underlying these experiences is alignment.

By taking action in a desired direction, you either succeed or learn a lesson.

Not the cheesy ‘L’s stand for lessons’ talk, but you literally cannot lose if an experience is making you a better person for tomorrow.

From my experience, this only applies when these actions are in clear alignment with where you want to be.

In relation to this, Dr Lisa Feldman Barrett, who is a groundbreaking neuroscientist, psychologist and author, said something on the Modern Wisdom podcast that really got me thinking:

“Every experience is a combination of the remembered past and the sensory present.”

Past experiences that on the surface look completely unrelated can amalgamate into how you presently feel in the moment of doing something else.

On that note, let’s go back to those daunting Hirevue interviews shall we?

The alignment I had with myself was knowing that this is a necessary step to stand out - doing the part that most will feel uncomfortable practicing.

More generally, if I have an awareness of a conventionally uncomfortable thing and my intuition is telling me to do it…

best believe nine times out of ten, I’m listening to my intuition.

Sometimes there’s not enough information to reasonably jump into the discomfort, which would be that one to make it ten, but most of the time you know it’s probably the right thing to do.

However, in the context of doing video interviews, my motivation came through the rationalisation of me having to get ahead of my competition.

But when your intuition is pushing you to do something seemingly unnecessary, should you trust it?

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Fear of rejection can be representative of our brain’s intrinsic want to feel accepted.

Being rejected by the group used to mean death.

Why is this important?

Because this is where the final push of momentum to making a podcast is introduced.

Alignment was strong, inspiration was limitless, TTB experienced exponential growth - the fear of rejection progressively diminished.

Retrospectively, it’s shown me that if my fear is stopping me from doing something, its internal alignment is not strong enough.

To not take action now would mean eventually starting the cycle of reinstating those circumstances again, which when ready to share the final outcome would feel like biting the bullet rather than a personal achievement because you halted your own progress in making it happen.

Contextualising this would mean waiting to start TTB Spotlight in 2026 under the guise that I would ‘feel more ready’, for it to only be much more difficult without the free-flowing ideas and inspiration.

I know that I would’ve regretted that decision.

My intuition kicked in.

This time I trusted it.

Conclusion

After the release of Series 1, I have felt a feeling that I haven’t felt in a while.

Proud of myself.

2024 ended with me having no idea on how I would top it.

There were so many new experiences and amazing moments that hinted to something bigger coming, I just didn’t know what.

Little did I know that 2024 provided the foundation to reach a new milestone and emotional high.

You would have had to follow TTB from the start to have any idea to what I’m alluding to. 😂

The thoughts from my second ever post on Substack came flooding back, and 18 months later, I lived what I said:

“Every time you reach a high, you uncover abilities you did not previously realise you possess.”

That guy was onto something wasn’t he? Jheeze.

The consistent application of myself on the edge of discomfort has led to another milestone that I’ll remember for the rest of my life…

and this is just the start.

P.S.

Read that second post to get a snapshot of my mindset. 🤯