HTBP - Don't fake it
Authentically balancing challenges and enjoyment
Abstract
You may have heard of the saying ‘fake it till you make it’, a phrase commonly used to describe goal-getters who want to succeed as fast as possible, whilst avoiding some of the fundamentals to give them firm authority in achieving their goals.
Commonly, it refers to pretending to have knowledge/experience in a field, and essentially gravitates towards being someone you are not. Although not all that believe this ideology are exposed, it stems from a place of insecurity, in which one of the goals of the person is contained in a race to rectify/manage the insecurity prior to it being uncovered.
This makes the person’s journey to success unnecessarily cumbersome and twice as hard, where they have to manage upholding a façade as well as working to hide a weakness they possess.
But I will be exploring the saying ‘fake it till you make it’ from a completely different angle: the internal battle you commit yourself to when forcing enjoyment out of something.
The title ‘Don’t fake it’ is inspired from my discussion on challenges, where I highlighted how balance in challenges and having separate interests/hobbies you enjoy are an important facet of your life.
Why I decided to make this a separate post is because of how pertinent the topic of faking enjoyment is; people pretend to enjoy something due to the preconceived benefits they anticipate when reaching their goal in an area.
With this perspective and exploration comes a personal reflection, whereby I prompt you to question whether you are doing something for yourself, or someone else.
Discussion
The illusion of managing your time effectively
With priorities outlined and organised, a person includes learning something of high difficulty as a long-term commitment and a low stakes priority. Overall, they realise that it motivates and drives them, alongside it is providing purpose to what they do outside of the interest they are learning about.
This is great, but a dangerous illusion that the person may miss is that they may lose sight of what they really enjoy.
This does not happen though, as with a plan to balance this interest with their priorities, the person is comfortable with what they have ahead of them and continues to work with the plan for some time.
However, in the pursuit of productivity, the person has researched and found an additional commitment of a similar nature to the current interest they are learning about.
In order to accelerate their development, they sacrifice one of their hobbies in order to have enough time to commit on working on this new adventure, where ultimately, the goal is to balance the two and ‘kill two birds with one stone’.
The reason I have introduced this theoretical paradox is to describe a key part of the discussion of this post. We can overestimate our capabilities, which can culminate into blindsiding our ability to balance self-imposed challenges and interests/hobbies.
Some of us, including myself, are always looking for the step to get us ahead, but sometimes confuse the thrill of finding a solution to this with the feeling of enjoyment.
Why the situation I presented above is so dangerous is because the initial commitment and its positive impact can be used as a tool to convince yourself that you are enjoying the process of looking at how to get ahead.
But in this scenario, the person has effectively squeezed time out of their schedule for the things they really enjoy: The hobbies that distract you from the challenges of your main responsibilities, the hobbies that relax and decompress your mind, the hobbies that don’t require self-discipline.
To progress this conversation, the theme of self-discipline has been presented to you from the outset. In this case, the lack of self-discipline to resist the temptation of adding another challenging commitment is the problem, where time doesn’t allow the person’s hobbies to co-exist with the commitment.
Self-discipline is an aspect we will explore further when balancing challenges and enjoyment.
Self-discipline
Self-discipline does not only relate to staying committed to a habit, long-term goal, or limiting the proportions in which you indulge in things around you.
It also relates to self-control when resisting the temptation to do everything you perceive exciting and/or valuable, and as a result stretching yourself thin.
Returning to the post, ‘What is productivity?’, I mention the economic definition of productivity, which has a sole focus on output. In the scenario I presented earlier, the person has conscribed to the economic definition of productivity, with the view that the time that they use has to always have an output, when it in fact doesn’t.
When I defined productivity for myself, I alluded to using the time you have allocated efficiently.
There is time for everything - allocate time with reasonable balance in mind and you will be fine.
In order to do this, you must plan. Otherwise, you run the risk of straying away from your goals; the direction that is essential in remaining productive.
As a result, you would limit variability in consistency, and consistency is key.
This is as opposed to acting on impulse.
Acting on impulse is unproductive when looking at doing things that require a commitment of time. Immediately you erode at your ability to long-term plan, which primarily is what keeps you on the path you desire.
Returning to the earlier scenario, acting on impulse can result in bypassing the thought-process behind why you shouldn’t do something, preventing you from foreseeing the fact that you are stretching yourself thin.
A plan can be the automated response mechanism you need for you to quickly reject inviting propositions; ones which have the threat of derailing you from your current priorities.
Don’t force it
The spark for this post lied in me wanting to talk about when exploring your interests, where the challenge becomes the enjoyment, and this relates to an interest you choose to do in your free time. This interest can become a hobby, and the reason I provide this distinction is because hobbies are the ones that you know you already enjoy.
Therefore, I am not referring to situations where you enjoy the challenge, as that is entirely possible, and is a point I will make later.
An example I want to raise is in learning something in order to exercise entrepreneurship. If you are enjoying the process and challenge of learning something new, that is the best way to self-develop and is an indicator that you should continue to do what you are doing.
Where people can go wrong though is when they take enjoyment from responsibilities or priorities which they do not choose to do.
This presents another element; when it is difficult to determine whether you are enjoying something out of your control.
If you know you have to do it, you may accept this, but how does it genuinely make you feel?
Returning to the point of forcing yourself to like something, you would be clutching at straws by forcing yourself to pick your hobby from something that is presented to you.
Whether you are forcing yourself is a question to ask yourself, where the answer lies in how this responsibility or priority makes you feel.
To put this into perspective and to encourage reflection, here is an example of this discussion in practice:
I have seen people eat, breathe, and sleep education, consuming it in various mediums. News, books, podcasts, social media, etc.
When looking at myself, I realised that they are doing better in academic attainment, where they are clearly maximising their potential within education.
But I also knew that was not a life I would want for myself. Education can be enjoyable in various forms and is unbounded in its meaning, and therefore it would be wrong to say that this person could not possibly enjoy that way of living.
However, I discovered that these various mediums of education were inspired by the subjects that they study.
At that point, I thought that there is a clear imbalance within their way of life. How could they possibly have fun?
Conversely, in retrospect, this is what gives them the edge.
Knowing whether you are having fun is not determined from the outside in, it is completely on you to be honest to yourself.
No-one will understand your passion as much as you do.
Final Words
Do not blur the lines between having to work/do something and having the choice to enjoy when encountering an opportunity.
Convincing yourself of enjoying something you have to do when you do not actually find pleasure in it is a downward spiral. I have heard of careers being built on this mentality, where their dedication to stick to a continuously mentally demanding goal is fascinating.
Some forget that their career is one thing, and their identity is another.
You don’t want to be the person who has no interests, hobbies, and is dictated by the world around them.
This is not to say you cannot find pleasure in something you have to do though.
Pleasure stems from purpose; for example, if the purpose of you doing something is to relax, you would find pleasure in relaxing.
But when the purpose of the time you run into when you try to relax is for another responsibility, you no longer derive pleasure. Rather you experience the opposite - guilt.
In school, work, or university, you can stem pleasure from what you do if you find that it aligns with your purpose/goals. Seeing the use alone can be a place where pleasure stems from.
However, this should never be both your sole priority and only root of pleasure.
Lastly, some words of encouragement for those who have already found a distinct hobby, away from their main priorities:
If you genuinely enjoy working on something that would generally be regarded as difficult, keep doing it.
Having that one thing is a position a lot of people aspire to be in and is a privilege that many do not have the opportunity to find.
Conclusion
You will feel productive if you have a goal that you enjoy. The motivation and excitement is what gets you started; your passion is what fuels you.
Don’t give yourself the internal challenge of enjoying something new.
In other words, don’t fake it.
Set yourself the challenge to find something you enjoy, and if you already have this sorted, the further challenge is allocating time for this interest.
This will reaffirm your self-belief which will drive you further and would give you momentum.
For both positions, those who know what they enjoy and those who don’t, the final step of interweaving it into your routine is easier than you think:
Take your time with it, be open-minded, and try new things.
P.S.
Everyone is impulsive from time-to-time, but can you distinguish between quick decision-making, decisiveness, and impulsiveness? Is there any overlap?
Send your thoughts on this productivity piece, and if there is any points you want further discussion on, let me know. 👍🏾